Andrew (perspectivism) wrote,

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[I wrote this in simple no-caps wordflow. I'm leaving it that way. -A]

communities are fragile things. expensive things. they're rarely worth it to me.

stronger: at this point, all friendships play at most a marginal role in my life. my closest friends know this and accept it. most are even making similar focus choices themselves right now.

the highest value i get on the www right now is that of absorbing new information & new presentation in self-propelling bursts. that, and outputting my own occasional words here to my own dimly conceived ideal readers (who, oddly enough, change from sentence to sentence!).

the *community impulse* runs counter to this. and the community impulse is basically wrong, useless, etc.

"Us Vs. Them" is SO not what i need to grow.

i need more new connections when i'm spending any time on the web -- not routine maintenance of limited friendships.

friendship in a serious context of Team Projects is the only Active Friendship i might want today. and i'm not even going to TRY to explain what i mean by that.

so be it! we are radical individualists. or at least i am; i don't speak for anyone else. i may keep inviting people to comment on specific ideas of mine, but i won't invite them to pretend that i owe them any routine attention. more importantly, i won't let MYSELF pretend that i owe anyone on the web any routine attention. i will make more and more effort to stop distinguishing in my own mind/actions between "my people" (some outdated sense of virtual community) and other people.

i've come to see that participating in silly communities is a form of treachery against more compelling opportunities. my x-men metaphor was mostly the stupid community impulse talking. tonight, i'm completely past it.

inspirational quote in the right direction for having it all:
I love you. I care for you. You mean so much to me. You are dear to me. I'll be there for you. I think of you all the time. You're just not very important to me.
if this site were at all about real feedback in the present day, i would have shut it down by now. perhaps i should repeat that.

you may not understand me. that really doesn't mean either of us is stupid.

i long ago gave up on much real *discussion* around here of *anything* at my own personal frontiers. i still post some things near those frontiers, and then i still get a little excited when someone actually replies. false alarms abound! damned eternal optimism.

you may not care about any of this. and you probably shouldn't. it's springtime in the northern hemisphere, and you probably have better places to be in your moment. these are my realizations. go make your own!
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