Andrew (perspectivism) wrote,

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tool use for those with opposable thumbs

My bedroom ceiling angles to about 26' high. Last night, a grande ugly arachnid appeared near the apex. Very weird; it must have crept in to escape the uncharacteristically cold rain.

I stared up smirking at it (did it smirk also back at me?), weighing my options: Let it stay (as a silent truce of randomly ghoulish interior decorating), or find a really big (venti?) ladder & do combat like some kind of circus clown. Hmmm, What Would A Circus Clown Do? Maybe throw something! I have juggling bags! Small four-colored beanbags for showing off my cerebellum...

Juggling ball & follow-through bashing tool at the ready, I begin. In about three minutes (and fifteen accurate-to-within-inches underhand tosses -- I quickly discovered that overhand throws are way less precise in this situation), we have a clear victor. Arthropods: 0, Primates: 1.

I'm so proud of my ingenuity! (Perhaps I should be featured.)

Possible Morals Of This Story...

Reading Marvin Harris books makes you smarter.
If you want to enjoy a totally bug-free environ, then live with one of us ubiquitous math geeks who've learned how to juggle.
Your Sikhist live-and-let-live-ism & your OCD control-freak-values are bound to conflict.
When you do find yourself reincarnated as a spider, do not simply freeze & pull your legs into yourself while clown toys are flying all around you. Almost any strategy would be better. Move. Fast.
For any novel problem, really try to think of as many options as possible -- since a best solution is so often at hand. Never give up, and good luck will find you!
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