Andrew (perspectivism) wrote,

continuous progress, meter by meter

My favorite piece of wisdom this year, or half year, is that nothing will ever be final, until death. As humans, death is our source of finality. I despise death, so why on earth would I chase a deathlike state, where everything is "taken care of, once and for all"? Why, indeed.

I remind myself of this daily, since I have the unfortunate tendency to get anxious or despondent about "all of these loose ends", to the point where I feel that there can be no small progress - only absolute. It isn't true, and those thoughts can freeze me - leading to procrastination ("I will take care of all of this in one fell swoop as soon as I have a big chunk of time/money/patience!"). Procrastination is the enemy, and I cannot afford to fight it with short bursts of impulsivity, characteristic of prior years. In the past, I created my own system of lulls & upheavals, which has left me largely rootless and feeling as though I have put years of work into a void, perhaps rich experientially, but long-term pointless.

The only real progress seems to come in slow waves of falling together, accomplishing minor life-maintenance & repair every single day. Creating new pathways meter by meter. (Joanna)
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