As you probably know, your woman is capable of being a witch, a sex slave, an Amazon, a goddess of light, a nurturing mother, a demoness, a luscious lover, a wise teacher, a wild animal, and everything in between. As a general rule, she will keep returning to the energy that you cannot match.
For instance, if you are particularly turned off by her anger, she will seem to return, again and again, to the energy of anger. If you are unable to embrace her anger in the ferocity of your loving, transforming her anger into passion, she will continue to test your capacity to do so. Any of her energies that you are unable to transform into love through the force, clarity, and humor of your consciousness will return for you to face, again and again.
Perhaps she gets tense and agitated often. You have tried talking about this with her countless times. Nothing seems to make a difference. So you just stop trying. You learn to tolerate her tension.
Without consciously choosing to get tense, she will continue to test you. Until your consciousness is able to blossom her beyond her tension, you will be tested. A lesser man might decide, "Well, she's going to have to deal with it herself." But she would not be in relationship with you if she wanted to deal with it herself. She wants your consciousness--clear, strong, and free--as much as you want her radiance. If you are not penetrating her moods, she can't feel your free consciousness. Instead, she feels you throw up your hands, impotent in the face of her energy.
The secret is to match her energy with consciousness demonstrated through your body.
Your body, tone of voice, and the look in your eyes mean a lot more to her than anything you could say. Don't tell her what to do, but do it with her, with your body. If she is tense and closed down, lift her arms up above her head and kiss her heart. Don't just tell her to open up. Actually open her up, physically, with the openness of your body.
The same is true of her bliss; you must meet it bodily. If she is in the ecstatic throes of devotional surrender to divine love, then your consciousness must be just as free. Your body must meet hers full of relaxation, power, and trust. Your capacity to surrender through your fears and release your sense of separate self in divine communion must be as strong as her surrender into love. And you must show it through your body, not just your words.
If your surrender into communion is not as strong as hers, she will return to the place of your limiting fear, your weak link, and test you there.
Sometimes, weirdo mystics rock the conceptual house!