Andrew (perspectivism) wrote,


This one time, at Costco...

3:30 this afternoon, I was weaving in & out of the checkout lines. I was looking to optimize my situation. Fact: I'm holding a gallon of Naked orange juice & a bunch of frozen swordfish. Issue: I'd like to leave the store with them, without risking detention for grand theft swordfish, and in less than five minutes.

Too much to ask at Costco on a Friday after 3:30PM? Perhaps!

Why don't they have an express lane at that place?! The naive economists' answer is that they'd rather encourage mad spending on each shopping trip. A cultural answer would point at some egalitarian sensibilities.

But, you see, it's not really egalitarian to ask me & some gigantic family laden with carb-bombs to stand in the same line. It's just not natural.

Costco might wish to consider a new addendum to their Mission Statement: "We subsidize our customers' insane lifestyle choices!!"

Sorry. I'll calm down about that ketchup now. Thank you for your indulgence.

Oh, I do still love Costco. And I did get out within five minutes, along the way inspiring two of those slow bigtime shoppers to smile.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your reply will be screened

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 1 comment