Andrew (perspectivism) wrote,
Andrew
perspectivism

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tool use for those with opposable thumbs

My bedroom ceiling angles to about 26' high. Last night, a grande ugly arachnid appeared near the apex. Very weird; it must have crept in to escape the uncharacteristically cold rain.

I stared up smirking at it (did it smirk also back at me?), weighing my options: Let it stay (as a silent truce of randomly ghoulish interior decorating), or find a really big (venti?) ladder & do combat like some kind of circus clown. Hmmm, What Would A Circus Clown Do? Maybe throw something! I have juggling bags! Small four-colored beanbags for showing off my cerebellum...

Juggling ball & follow-through bashing tool at the ready, I begin. In about three minutes (and fifteen accurate-to-within-inches underhand tosses -- I quickly discovered that overhand throws are way less precise in this situation), we have a clear victor. Arthropods: 0, Primates: 1.

I'm so proud of my ingenuity! (Perhaps I should be featured.)

Possible Morals Of This Story...

Reading Marvin Harris books makes you smarter.
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If you want to enjoy a totally bug-free environ, then live with one of us ubiquitous math geeks who've learned how to juggle.
1(12.5%)
Your Sikhist live-and-let-live-ism & your OCD control-freak-values are bound to conflict.
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When you do find yourself reincarnated as a spider, do not simply freeze & pull your legs into yourself while clown toys are flying all around you. Almost any strategy would be better. Move. Fast.
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For any novel problem, really try to think of as many options as possible -- since a best solution is so often at hand. Never give up, and good luck will find you!
1(12.5%)
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